Doomsday - Movie Preview

Now I realize this movie is being pretty much universally crapped upon right now, and adding my two cents doesn't really add anything to the proceedings, but here goes anyways. Doomsday, the follow up from "The Descent" director Neil Marshall, doesn't look especially good.

"But, Geek!" you exclaim, "Surely you can find it in your heart to adore a post-apocalyptic movie featuring a deadly virus, a hot assassin chick in form fitting clothes, fast car chases, and futuristic clown-punk warriors?"

Sorry to say, in my heart of hearts, there is no love lost for this premise. Maybe I love Mad Max and Escape from New York too much to let another post-apocalyptic action flick into my heart. Maybe I thought the pinnacle of the hot assassin chicks in tight clothes sub-genre was Underworld or Resident Evil. Maybe I just never cared much for car chases or futuristic clown-punk warriors. And maybe putting all these things in a blender along with a story about a viral epidemic just feels cluttered and uninspired to me.

Another problem I have with Doomsday is that the heroine, played by Rhona Mitra, doesn't convince me as being especially sexy or a deadly fighter. The biggest problem is that the two series I listed as being the peak of this hot fighting chick genre, Underworld and Resident Evil, weren't especially good themselves. To be honest for a moment, I down right hated Underworld and was only mildly entertained by the sequel. Need further proof that Rhona Mitra is only a half-rate replacement for Kate Beckinsale? Underworld III- Beckinsale has (wisely) moved on from the franchise and who did they get to play the main character? The prosecution rests.

Now don't get me wrong, I have previously enjoyed the work of Neil Marshall. I will admit that when I heard the premise for Dog Soldiers I just about shit myself with laughter. The subsequent viewing of the film revealed a story put together with more love and fine-crafting than it probably deserved. The follow up effort, The Descent, also didn't sound like much on paper but proved to be an excellent, if somewhat overly dark (literally), film. Maybe my impressions of Doomsday are off the mark. Maybe this is a great little flick, destined to be a gem hidden in the rough.

I figure I owe it to Marshall to give him the benefit of the doubt and check the flick out. I've been somewhat cautious in approaching all of his films and have ended up pleasantly surprised with each. Who knows, maybe if I quit my bitching for long enough I'll even enjoy this one too. Maybe if we all just calm down we could all just enjoy a silly little movie starring throngs of punk-clown warriors.

Man, did my opinion just pull a '180' or what? I'm starting to feel all gooey inside. I think I'd better check myself for a fever.


P.S. Diary of the Dead moved into a wider release this last weekend. It previously wasn't playing withing 100 miles of my location but is now playing in several larger cities. Check out your local listings, you might just get lucky too!

Diary of the Dead: Movie Preview

So, apparently, the next George A. Romero zombie flick, Diary of the Dead, is getting a wide theatrical release this Friday, February 15th, 2008. I'm a bit surprised because I normally have a pretty good idea of upcoming genre films and this one completely flew under the radar. I have no idea how this could have happened, especially because I'd consider myself a big, longtime fan of Romero's Dead series (Yes, including Land of the Dead. Charlie was awesome).

The only reasons I could come up with for this oversight are thus:

• I've been really busy.
• I haven't been watching any TV pretty much since the Writer's Strike started (although that's officially over now- yay!)
• The advertising budget for this film must be about nil.

It's sad that the next film from one of the genre's greats is being set up to pass by relatively unnoticed by the general movie going crowd. Given the amount of buzz I've been hearing (again, about nil), if this movie breaks the Top 5 for Box Office this weekend, I'll be stoked. I certainly hope it does better business than that though, because I'd like Mr. Romero to keep making movies until he dies (and even after, if Zombie Romero can still hold a camera).

I also kind of feel like any casual movie-goer is going to dismiss Diary as a cheap Cloverfield knockoff, given the closeness in release dates and similarities in camera-style. I'd like to think that the first person film format was given a boost in the arm by Cloverfield, but so many detractors have voiced their opinions that I can't help but suspect this negative rub will mean bad things for a smaller film like Diary. I suppose the good news is that the movie was shot on a real small budget so any business at all should guarantee the film churns a profit.

If you're a horror fan, you should go see this film. I haven't seen it yet, so I can't comment on the quality of the film, but horror, real horror, needs a boost right now. Hollywood needs to be shown that old school horror is still profitable. Financial persuasion is the only way we won't be watching bad remakes of J-horror starring no-talent actresses for the next 3 years (I'm looking at you, The Eye).

And, hey, it's George Romero, so even if it sucks you know there's going to be a few good shots of zombie gore.

I Am Legend 2: The Return of Bagger Vance

"Robert Neville, everyone's favorite, quirky, ultra-cool, military-scientist returns in this action-packed, heartwarming sequel! Having already bastardized one of the greatest fiction stories of all time, actor Will Smith returns to this vampire-infested, post-apocalyptic world, but with a new twist! With civilization back on the upswing, the family-less Neville decides now is the perfect time to begin his new life and he starts by choosing a new career- he becomes a pro-golfer! The only problem is he's terrible! Wacky, cgi-vampire shenanigans ensue! Coming to Neville's aide is the ghostly, kindhearted caddy, Bagger Vance. In a stunning, Oscar-worthy double-duty performance, Bagger Vance (Smith) helps Neville (Smith) not only with improving his game, but with shedding his jaded, unworldly views! It's a heart warming tale that can be enjoyed by the whole family! Double the fun! Double the Smith! Double the Legend! I Am Legend 2: The Return of Bagger Vance!"

Coming Soon - Summer 2009

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