Untraceable 2: Revenge of the Intertubes

I've been watching a bit of TV this week and have seen about a thousand commercials for the upcoming thriller, Untraceable, which opens January 25th. The basic premise that can be gathered from the trailer is that there is a serial killer who sets up elaborate traps, Saw style, with the twist that these traps are activated by generating traffic on the killer's website.

The one gem that really gets me is the part where Diane Lane, the FBI agent tracking the killer, says, "It's something we've never seen before. It's untraceable." At another part of the commercials, once her character has clearly become the next target of the killer, she frantically says, "He's hacked into my wireless network!"

The thought occurs to me at this point that the range on wireless networks, particularly personal wireless networks, is about... what? 300 feet? Max? Maybe a little bigger, depending on the particular technology and antenna. The real point is, we're talking less than a half mile radius... Does anyone think to maybe throw up some freaking road blocks and just systematically search for the ass clown? I mean, they have the manpower, they're the freaking FBI.

The answer to this, of course, is no, thanks to crap 'Hollywood Logic'. Does anyone making movies understand anything about even rudimentary technology? Has a good movie centered around the internet ever been made? Anyone remember The Net? How about Enemy of the State? Fear Dot Com? I think I rest my case.

At any rate, since I'm sure this movie will be a smash hit, what with its exquisitely researched position on modern technology and its ability to appeal to that hip, young intranet generation. I'm sure a sequel will quickly follow. Pictured above is my poster for that sequel, in all of its endless glory.


Anonymous said...

Would the Matrix movies qualify as Internet based? They're always downloading in or bringing up or all that.

You know, when they're not having crazy rave sex.

Chris said...

I would say the Matrix movies don't count. They're set in the future anyway, so *modern* technology logic doesn't really apply.

Can you think of any movies set in the modern day that did an ok job with it?

Anonymous said...

Uuuuumm chris. How the fuck do you forget the newest die hard? Penny arcade didn't.


Any movie involving technical aspects of anything is complete shit. How do you think I feel when I watch backdraft or ladder 49. Christ at least in the latter they didn't wear JEANS into a fire. I mean according to movies, cars explode, theres no smoke in fires, etc. Its hollywood.

xoxo Jordan

Chris said...

You're right, I did forget to badmouth Live Free or Die Hard. I suspect that's because I secretly love that movie. But you're right. Dear God, was the logic in that movie terrible.

Forgive me, McClane.

P.S. I love Penny-Arcade.

Anonymous said...

Did you ever see The Core? Their super-dee-duper cool unconvicted con hacker guy they bring on the team can shut down the FBI mainframe, but can't fucking hack the Department of Power in a crux.

And a black guy melts to death to detach a segment of their ship, and later, they simply pull a lever to detach further segments. It's pretty ridiculous.


Chris said...

I've never managed to sit down and watch The Core, but I have heard tales of its legendary ridiculousness. Someday I will partake in its glory. Someday.